T – The Spoon Theory

I was never planning to take over a year off from writing my blog – I’m still not quite sure how that happened! Time definitely goes quicker the older you get! Procrastination may have also had a part to play – I started writing it in October 2025, realised it wasn’t a topic which I had much personal experience on and decided to wait for a bit more inspiration.  

I first learnt of this theory at work. As part of my job, I arrange meetings where learning from other people’s experience can take place and a colleague offered to do a talk on this topic.

It has now come up in an audiobook which I am currently listening to (so more inspiration did come!)

The Spoon Theory was devised by a lady called Christine Miserandino and it began in a restaurant. Her friend saw her taking a tablet to help manage her Lupus (a chronic autoimmune disease which causes fatigue) and this led to her friend beginning to ask what it was like to live with this. Christine decided to use spoons as a metaphor for energy.

When my colleague illustrated in the meeting she asked for two volunteers to come to up to the front and each volunteer was given 10 spoons. One volunteer represented a person with a disability/long term health condition and the other volunteer represented a person with no disability/long term health condition. After describing what they had done, that day, so far, in order to get to work, one person was left with more spoons than the other person. (In the paragraphs which follow, I will refer to the person with the disability/long term health condition as person A and the person without a disability as person B)

Firstly, they would have had to get out of bed – if person A found getting out of bed painful then they would have already had to use more energy and therefore a spoon was taken from them. Person B still had their full complement of spoons.

Having a shower would cost person A more spoons than person B likewise getting dressed and commuting to work would also ‘cost’ a different amount of spoons. Lots more was involved in both of these people getting to the meeting but I think you get the gist! I now want to look at other scenarios.

If a non-disabled person goes shopping then it may ‘cost’ them 2 spoons but if a neurodivergent person went to the same shops, due to sensory overload (noises, smells, and lighting etc.) it would cost them 4 spoons. This can also be shown in the example of two people going on a train journey where one person who is in a wheel chair and the other who has no mobility impairment. The person in the wheel chair would have had to book assistance, make sure they were at the station approx. 20 minutes before the train was due to depart, inform the staff that they were there and wait for the staff to help them to board the train. Whereas the person with no mobility impairment would arrive and board the train.

Although I did not think I could use personal experience, writing this has made me realise that I can! My example would be going into the office on a Tuesday. Before I go into the office I have to plan when I am going to buy a sandwich to take in with me. If I know I am going to be busy on a Monday then I often need to do this on a Saturday (if the ‘best before dates’ work in my favour) I then need to remember to take it out of the fridge before I go into the office. Whereas my colleagues will pop out for lunch on the day or order from a take away outlet. Due to my difficulty with walking and eating big meals I just have to do more planning, thus taking more mental energy.

Even having a cup of tea, while sitting on my sofa, is another example. I am too shaky to be able to carry drinks so unless I want to use a travel mug all of the time (which I don’t) it takes me two or three trips going back and forth to the kitchen. I put my empty mug on my coffee table, I then carry everything else (boiling water and milk) to the mug.  These are two very little/trivial but it all adds up!

Christine Miserandino who devised this theory said there is always a balancing act to do when you get near to the end of the day, trying to make sure that you do not have to take any from the next days supply. You therefore always need to learn how to keep a spoon in reserve. Christine concluded by saying to her friend who she was having dinner with ‘you should feel special as coming out/spending time with you has meant me giving you one of my spoons.’  

Hopefully I will keep my spoons well stocked so that I do not let another year elapse before writing my next post!